ah, and thank you for asking. this man's name is modern frank. he is visiting my home from estonia. he is estonian.
modern frank is a difficult man. last night he propositioned amanda. when i tried to throw him out, he broke down in violent sobs and revealed that his brother, modern hank, had recently been boiled and served with a nice lean lamb shank. (i think that really got modern frank down). so, i poured us a couple of sambucas, we talked it all out (it turns out we are distant cousins. or at least he says we are), and amanda gave him a little kiss on the whiskered cheek, to settle him down. i don't know how long he plans on staying. i am worried. as you can see, he is quite a handsome brute, and i am troubled by his obvious affection for (and advances towards) my wife. stay tuned. there may be trouble...
drew, I must warn you about those of estonian heritage: they are sneaky fellows with little or no morals. Yes, modern frank's treatment of you and amanda may be all good and well...at least for now but take heed, this will change. First, modern frank will begin eating freely from your cupboards(he doesn't know how to use a fridge.....yet!). He will devour anything he can get his grubby little paws on until you, my friend, are hungry and defeated. Next he will further his advances towards your wife- lavishing her with expensive treats, hugging her, complimenting her, buying her fancy sunday dresses and the like. Lastly, I must admit it can be difficult to know where he will take things. Murder? possibly. Suicide? perhaps. Murals? potentially. I apologize for my rambling warning, but I feel it is my duty. I too have been privy to the antics of estonians.
modern frank has confirmed the suspicions of "the" andy smith! i have received word that modern frank has completed a large mural encompassing two walls of the living room depicting the fall of rome at the hands and the vandals! word on the street is that the next mural planned is "the rape of the sabine women," which is to be plastered (with flourish) on the ceiling above my bed. What the implications of such an act might be, I cannot say.
Also, I have received word that modern frank has secured the purchase of a large yacht in Amanda's name. The plot thickens.
6 Comments:
what in the sam scratch is this creature?
ah, and thank you for asking. this man's name is modern frank. he is visiting my home from estonia. he is estonian.
modern frank is a difficult man. last night he propositioned amanda. when i tried to throw him out, he broke down in violent sobs and revealed that his brother, modern hank, had recently been boiled and served with a nice lean lamb shank. (i think that really got modern frank down). so, i poured us a couple of sambucas, we talked it all out (it turns out we are distant cousins. or at least he says we are), and amanda gave him a little kiss on the whiskered cheek, to settle him down. i don't know how long he plans on staying. i am worried. as you can see, he is quite a handsome brute, and i am troubled by his obvious affection for (and advances towards) my wife. stay tuned. there may be trouble...
Hello, leetle Freind.
drew, I must warn you about those of estonian heritage: they are sneaky fellows with little or no morals. Yes, modern frank's treatment of you and amanda may be all good and well...at least for now but take heed, this will change.
First, modern frank will begin eating freely from your cupboards(he doesn't know how to use a fridge.....yet!). He will devour anything he can get his grubby little paws on until you, my friend, are hungry and defeated. Next he will further his advances towards your wife- lavishing her with expensive treats, hugging her, complimenting her, buying her fancy sunday dresses and the like. Lastly, I must admit it can be difficult to know where he will take things. Murder? possibly. Suicide? perhaps. Murals? potentially. I apologize for my rambling warning, but I feel it is my duty. I too have been privy to the antics of estonians.
Good luck
andy
that's the scarriest thing i've ever seen in my life.
this just in!
modern frank has confirmed the suspicions of "the" andy smith! i have received word that modern frank has completed a large mural encompassing two walls of the living room depicting the fall of rome at the hands and the vandals! word on the street is that the next mural planned is "the rape of the sabine women," which is to be plastered (with flourish) on the ceiling above my bed. What the implications of such an act might be, I cannot say.
Also, I have received word that modern frank has secured the purchase of a large yacht in Amanda's name. The plot thickens.
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