Sunday, September 11, 2005

Whiskey and cigarettes

empty bottles around me... lots of them, yet none drank tonight. tonight its whiskey and some root beer.
disorder, drawers open and empty. Clothes strewn on the one piece of furniture I own, the trusty camping chair that just a few months ago sat many of the greats in big sur, or looked over the ocean in mexico... new place is cool, big window to the roof, i sit and think and smoke on the roof. Albeit alone, but still nice... candlelight, so nice... Quiet light... fire = fun... not fun is skipping mp3s on my ipod... which makes me curse, deep down dirty curse words. my new ladyfriend is in love... but with another. the whiskey kinda hurts going down... and its the other she can't have, funny how life works. music rings in my head... radio head, patty griffith, my morning jacket... still no job... were looking at 5 weeks... im really poor right now. and that sucks.... plus its boring, masturbation is losing its fun. and then what, whats next, can it really only be five minutes of pleasure, then what, back to fucking reality. Reality bites. But theres hope... there always is. its just a matter of perspective, don't you know? the prize is right around the corner. im almost there. so close to that elusive 'there'. i can taste its goodness... Success, security, love, passion... and so i turn the corner, and hey guess what, that 'there' is nowhere to be found. gone. poof. you can put money on that fucking 'there' not the be there. never is. never was. just a figment of my imagination. couldn't have been that easy anyways. foolishness sucks. Value perspective, and wisdom. and so when the mind should focus on that which is productive it finds itself alone, drinking and occasionally going on the roof to smoke... and thinking of the one thing it shouldn't be... the ladyfriend who has no love for me. damn... aint life a bitch... and yet for some reason, tomorrow will bring its new promises and new hopes...
just needed to chat with some friends on a porch somewhere...

ps... andy you crazy son of a bitch... congratulations...

see you all soon, september, alans wedding, where we'll need to find a porch somewhere and continue to share life...

pss... im getting on my tux shit tomorrow alan...

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Frederick L. Webber, a longtime denizen of Washington's lobbying corridor, showed up at work one day last week and found on his desk a dozen fundraising requests from members of Congress.
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9/11/2005 09:33:00 PM  
Blogger kcs said...

There's kinda like tomorrow, it just never comes. That damn here and today's always getting in the way.

ps... so when we gonna take care of this anonymous posting, mr. administrator?

9/11/2005 09:44:00 PM  
Blogger KMOB said...

im on it kooter

dan, hang in there bud. miss you.

9/12/2005 07:35:00 AM  
Blogger Alan said...

oh danny boy--- thanks for getting on the tux shit. just want it to fit you and all.... lots of ladies at the wedding you know...
the love of another, who loves another who doesn't love back. that gets tricky. new town, job searching...been there man. newly moved to LA, freshly broken up...i too remember the cigarettes tasting so good in the new neighborhood. i remember running a whole lot and working out. made me feel productive. I can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks. It will be a party and event to remember.
There are porches, but there is also a cliff called mt bonnel overlooking a lake. it could work as a porch. my parents have a nice deck, but i don't know about smoking back there...it will make me feel like when i was in highschool and i would sneak behind our toolshed and smoke a malboro light and toss it over the fence into the 'party' kids backyard.
could we call today yestermorrow? i like the ring of that one.

9/12/2005 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

"Yestermorrow, all my troubles seemed so trite and hollow,
Now my cheeks look like they're pale and sallow
Oh, I believe in yestermorrow.

Suddenly, breathing strikes me as
an afterthought
All I want to do is smoke some pot
Oh, yestermorrow sucks big fat cock.

Why the porch is bare, I don't know, it brings me sorrow.
I smoke all day long, how I long for yestermorrow.

Yestermorrow, I smoked a tender slender Marlboro,
Now I need at least a beer to chuckle,
Oh, I believe in yestermorrow.

Mm mm mm mm mm."

9/12/2005 12:37:00 PM  
Blogger kcs said...

mmm.... yesterpot

9/12/2005 05:24:00 PM  
Blogger miller said...

Dan, you're in my prayers. You're a good guy. Keep working hard at making the right decisions and the cards'll start to fell into place.

M@

"Yestermorrow sucks big fat cock"
Drew Hamilton (under the influence of wine that is pretentiously one step above "cheap.")

9/12/2005 05:29:00 PM  

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